Weekends are Overrated

Its Monday again. The weekend never seems to be long enough... and nothing cool EVER happens. Especially when there's a lame holiday like Easter in the mix. Easter sucks ass. Everything is closed, everyone is boring, you have to pretend to be nice and get along with people you hate, and all you do is sit around, eat, and get fat. (I actually don't mind the last part).

The WHOLE weekend didn't suck balls I guess. I went out with my bestie on Friday night. We got all dolled up and went to some shit hole bar in the middle if nowhere. (I was house sitting in the middle of no where. Its not like we had a choice). But the night started off good. You know when you spend hours getting ready... you're makeup looks awesome, your hair isn't pissing you off, and your shirt makes your boobs look fucking huge and fake? You know what I'm talking about. That's how the night started for me. I thought I was one hot bitch. Its a great feeling... you think to yourself "Fuck yes I'm awesome, its okay to look". You walk around the bar making flirtatious eye contact with every male in the room. That ones cute - eye contact. That ones married - fuck it, eye contact. That ones ugly and all alone - you know what? I'm feeling generous, EYE CONTACT. Don't act like you've never been there. We all get a little too big for our britches sometimes.
My friend must have bought 12 shots within the first hour we were there. I argued with her over every shot.. but drank them anyways. Whatever. Tonight was my night. I could feel it in the air. Something awesome was going to happen. 2 hours later, and I'm hammered trying to call a cab. Did anything awesome happen you ask? Well, I drank myself stupid and creepy old men tried to fondle me all night. You be the judge. (I actually did talk to a few good looking guys, but none of them did any magic, or turned out to be famous, rich men. So that's not really all that "awesome"). By the end of the night, I'm sure I looked something like this.. (I cant really remember)...
Why is it that when we go out on the town.. we always expect amazing things to happen. Is it just me? I get pumped up every time. "Fuck yeah, tonight's going to be crazzzzy whooooo hoooo". Then we end up sitting at a table, drinking beer, and talking about how we are just too awesome for everyone else. Where do all the fun things happen? I'm starting to think that movies are just made up, and none of that stuff actually ever happens.

On rare occasions some nights actually start to get a little crazy. On those nights I go straight to the drinking rule book. I have a couple of rules I follow when it comes to drinking, and these rules have made me a successful social drinker. I'm going to share one of these rules with you later, so be prepared to shit yourself. I want to fill your brain with the same knowledge that occupies mine. Maybe you can become a better drinker as well.

RANDOM GARBAGE: About a month ago I got a tattoo. Its awesome. When we took this picture I had just gotten it done. The redness is all gone now, and it healed up nicely!

I'm new to this whole blogging thing.. but I have so many ideas. There is so much I want to share with you. If you can get through this first awkward stage with me, you're in for a real fucking treat.